One to Ten!!

This post is mostly just random cute pics of Cole, and a short update on my treatment for those who are interested. I finished my first round of antibiotics via PICC line a few weeks ago. I still have the PICC line in my arm, in case we need to repeat the treatment in a few months. The first treatment went really well. It helped my overall body pain a lot, my mental clarity is better, and I have less migraines. The nausea hasn't gotten any better, and I'm still pretty exhausted. So we ran some more tests and figured out that I am critically malnourished and dehydrated as if I were a homeless person on the street! What? And the Doc said it's not from just a few weeks of not eating right; that this has been going on for years. Oops! Who would have thought not eating and drinking could make you that sick? Go figure! But in my defense I've been nauseous for 7 years, so food didn't exactly sound appetizing. So now they are shoving food and water down my throat and hoping that it will stay down. If not I'll have to get fed through tubes in my nose. But hey, through this whole thing, I've learned a lot about health, drugs, and i.v.'s. . .maybe one day I'll become a nurse. Or a drug dealer. Which ever will bring in better money to pay for this dang treatment!! Kidding of course.

The first pics are of our awesome week at the Ranch for the 4th. It was tons o' fun. There were lots of people there, so it was just like the good ol days. I guess Cole loves Jeeps, just like his Daddy! These next few are of Cole with his cousin, Cohen's, sunglasses on. The second he put those bad boys on he was acting like he was the coolest kid in the world. He even started saying "Sup" , hence the hand flick. This next video is a small sampling of the amazing sponge-like brain Cole has these days. Today, Regan asked, "Hey, Ash? What time did Cole wake up today?" I answered, "Nine." Then Cole said, "Nine, Ten." I looked at him and was totally surprised. We had never taught him numbers. I thought he was too young. I just counted steps and random small things like that, but no way could he know numbers. So a quizzed him. Sure enough, he knows how to count to ten all by himself! Crazy! We were laughing so hard! I tried to get it on camera, but couldn't get him to do it all by himself. But it's still super cute!

The last thing I'm putting on here are two movies (step 1 and 2) of me doing my PICC line treatment that I do every day. Those that want to see how I do it can watch, but it may be boring. I just wanted to show everyone how cool I am at administering drugs to myself. I'm pretty proud of my great accomplishment.

My First Love

I just watched the cutest movie called Little Manhattan. Its a cute movie about a little boy that falls in love for the first time with a girl in his karate class, while his parents go through the pains of divorce. It was so funny to hear the thoughts of this boy as he tried to figure out what his love was thinking, when he should hold her hand, and if she felt the same way about him.

This movie caused me to reflect on my own first love. I was 7 years old. His name was Chad Farrer. He moved into my neighborhood and became best friends with my cousin, Ben. Now I had something to say about this, because Ben was not only my cousin, but my best friend. Ben and I were only 9 days apart and we lived next door, so naturally I felt that Chad was stepping on my territory. But my feelings of anger were gone quickly as I played with Chad and Ben. The three of us were inseparable. We did everything together, from camping in the orchard behind our house to making clay head necklaces to sell on the street. Chad remained my boyfriend until sixth grade. Of course, for grade school, the term boyfriend and girlfriend meant that we played together and never thought about anyone else. But then, a horrible thing happened. It was near the end of sixth grade, and there was a new trend amongst boyfriends and girlfriends. This was called going steady. This meant that you were exclusive. You would hold hands, dance at parties together, and if you ever got up the courage. . .a peck on the lips. At one party I even remember Chad and Chase McMillan lip singing I Wanna Hold Your Hand by the Beatles to Natalie Crystal and I. This all scared the crap out of me. I didnt feel old enough to go steady. I wanted to remain a kid forever and never grow up. I hoped Chad felt the same. But one day he wrote me a note, and asked me to go steady.

What?! NO! Why risk something that could ruin the wonderful thing that we had?! Why put everything on the line and open your heart to just get ruined later? I wrote him a note back. NO. The next week, Chad asked Heidi Bogus to go steady. Our friendship grew apart. Even Chad and Ben stopped playing, because we entered Jr. High. . .the land of flirting with the opposite sex. Even though I didnt ever take the leap of going steady until my senior year in High School, I had crushes here and there. But none will compare to my first love, Chad. I will always remember him to be the one that made my heart skip for the first time.

Now I am lucky enough to be married to the man that will make my heart skip for the last time. Regan Cole Whimpey. He is my eternal companion. He is the one that better not die before me, because I dont think I could live for one second without him. He has put all his dreams in a drawer for me, and I cannot think of a love greater than that. Every time I look at our son, I see my husbands love and adoration for me, and for that I am eternally grateful. I hope Regan knows how much I love him, but there is no way to express it. Regan, I am putting everything on the line for you. I am opening my heart, as vulnerable as it may be. But the possibilities of having my heart break is worth the risk. Because I love you. I will always love you.