CHRISTMAS TREE

Sorry that I haven't posted for a long time. I know that many of my loved ones want updates on how I'm doing because I have constantly felt so many prayers on my behalf. I want you all to know how much your prayers mean to me. Things have been difficult, as you know, and I haven't received too many answers. But I am in a Therapy group with a lot of people that have many of the same struggles as I have, so it helps to get input from how they deal with their illnesses. I also FINALLY found a primary care doctor that didn't laugh in my face and make me cry because they thought that I literally moved to Connecticut to get pain killers! This new doctor is such a blessing. He understands what I'm going through and has some good ideas to help me deal with the pain. He says that my hip pain is from bursitis, and that ice and possibly cortisol injections will help with that. It would be such a miracle to get rid of this pain so that I could sleep better and maybe even walk for longer distances than down the hallway of our apartment building!! He is also testing my cortisol and thyroid levels to give me the correct dosage to help those problems. I have officially been diagnosed with Bipolar Depression, so we are trying to find the right medications to decrease the roller coaster ups and downs. But I think the best thing about this doctor is that he can be the puppet master in sending me to the correct specialists to diagnose my real problems so that I don't feel so hopeless after waiting for months to see a specialist with no answers. . .again.

We now have Cole in an all-day preschool, which helps me a lot. I am able to attend my group sessions in the morning, then get some much needed rest in the afternoon. Regan is doing well at his job at The Hartford. He has passed all the intense tests of the program and is now in active duty of selling insurance policies. So far so good.

We have been so blessed with ward members that are so willing to help us. I have been overwhelmed by their goodness. I also know that many of you have been fasting and praying for me, and I my greatest hope is that God listens to your prayers to get me through this. I have to admit that my faith has been greatly shaken. So I may have to rely on your faith to get through this. I really hope you all have a Merry Christmas. Hopefully I will have more of an "up-beat" post soon. God bless us, God bless us. . .everyone! (Or in Kevin's role of playing Tiny Tim at 5 years old. . ."God bleth uth, God bleth uth, everyone!")

All I really want for Christmas this year are two things:

One: A big Christmas tree. I have to have a Christmas tree. Regan got it for me, and it is beautiful. It ALMOST smells as good as a Grover Tree.

Two: Hope.

I hope Santa gets my letter.

p.s. The random picture with streaky lights is what I picture rain will be like in Heaven. Wouldn't that be awesome??!